New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
