Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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