3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
