Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
