So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The uberlube is also flammable
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
