Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize