This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
