I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
