I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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