That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
