DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize