I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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