Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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