in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
