Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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