I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
