Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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