Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
