He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
