she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
