im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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