I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
