i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This toilet bowl is my home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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