I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize