How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
