I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Randomize
