He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
