When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
