im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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