The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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