I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize