I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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