i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize