dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
