do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
