The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
