I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
