Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
