Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize