Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize