Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You are the jesus of drinking
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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