Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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