Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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