clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
