I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So much Jack, so little girl.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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