You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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