David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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