I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
