I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
