I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
