I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
