I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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