she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
