Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
