she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
