I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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