Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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