thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do herpes really smell.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
