Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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