Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
