The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
