I don't think brook has ever known best
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
