So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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