dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
