we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize