omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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