a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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